Ass Quotes

2172 Ass quotes by 1145 unique authors

As in 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'?" The skull howled with laughter. "You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale?""I wouldn't… — Jim Butcher
How's his appendix?""Like crap. They almost didn't catch it in time, and he's still doing the ass-plant in a hospital bed, beingdoted on by an… — Marjorie M. Liu
Scobe's Tenth Law: In all endeavors, in all aspects of life, there are more horses asses than horses! — Frank Scoblete
Put your ass where your heart wants to be. — Steven Pressfield
It’s crazy. Since there have been men and women, there have been funny women... f**king idiot-ass men keep saying that women aren't funny. It makes… — Andy Samberg
New York, it was an adult portion. It was an adult dose. So it took a couple of trips to get into it. You just… — Levon Helm
I could be mistaken, but I believe the majority of artists are perverts, and that inspiration springs from the seat of perversity; that smooth stretch… — James Jean
Don't be afraid of making an ass of yourself. I do it all the time and look what I got. — William Shatner
One of the chief differences between an adult and a juvenile is that the adult knows when he is an ass while the juvenile never… — Eric Hoffer
Furiously and gorgeously write your ass off. — Bob Hicok
Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare. — Dennis Miller
History tells us what works in the gym, and everything else walks down the road with a carrot in its ass. — Mark Rippetoe
He who repeats what he does not understand is no better than an ass that is loaded with books. — Khalil Gibran
The most significant piece of advice my father gave me early on about acting was, don't get caught acting. Really believe in what you're doing… — Kiefer Sutherland
The job of the writer is to kiss no ass, no matter how big and holy and white and tempting and powerful. — Ken Kesey
Let me realize that my past failures at follow-through are no indication of my future performance. They're just healthy little fires that are gonna warm… — Ze Frank
An ass may bray a good while before he shakes the stars down. — George Eliot
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. — Ambrose Bierce
Look, we're all the same; a man is a fourteen-room house - in the bedroom he's asleep with his intelligent wife, in the living-room he's… — Arthur Miller
What you think about, talk about, and get off your ass and do something about, comes about. — Larry Winget
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass. — Martin Luther
Aficionado my ass...I just love to smoke cigars — James Woods
The secret to happiness is to be working at your passion. If you want to be miserable, lead a desperate life like everybody else where… — Yvon Chouinard
Saying I was lucky negates the hard work I put in and spits on that guy who’s freezing his ass off back in Brooklyn. — Peter Dinklage
We all just want to sit on our ass. — Karl Pilkington

Who Wrote These Ass Quotes

1,145 authors contributed a total of 2,172 Ass Quotes, led by these top contributors: