Ass Quotes

2172 Ass quotes by 1145 unique authors

If you want to kick the tiger in his ass you'd better have a plan for dealing with his teeth — Tom Clancy
Looks like the good Lord got your ass and face mixed up. — John Marston
You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass! — John Marston
I really don't know whether any place contains more pianists than Paris, or whether you can find more asses and virtuosos anywhere. — Frederic Chopin
My once-keen analytical mind has become so dulled by endless hours of baking in the hot sun, thrashing about in tight chimneys, pulling at impossibly… — Warren G. Harding
Now, get out there and kick ass! — Stella McCartney
In the New World, you'll kick your own ass and I'll wash my own brain. I'll be my own parents and you'll be you own… — Rob Brezsny
So my reaction to hearing this corny-ass, horrible song ["With Arms Wide Open" by Creed] is violent, uncontrollable, sustained weeping. — Michael Ian Black
... once we played at the Fillmore opposite The Cream. Eric Clapton was there and he played his ass off that night ... backstage Michael… — Barry Goldberg
To be engrossed by something outside ourselves is a powerful antidote for the rational mind, the mind that so frequently has its head up its… — Anne Lamott
All of us are subjected to somebody else's power at some point. So once in a while you kiss ass. So what? Either you make… — Sue Grafton
I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell… — Dennis Miller
I mean, I think I am basically a cool girl, but I am also a pain in the ass. — Rachel Cohn
For most people, self-awareness and self-pity blossom simultaneously in early adolescence. It's about that time that we start viewing the world as something other than… — Tom Robbins
A good lead-off hitter is a pain in the ass to pitchers. — Richie Ashburn
I refuse to go out with a man whose ass is smaller than mine. — Elizabeth Perkins
A person whodoes not regard music as a marvelous creation of God, must be a clodhopper indeed and does not deserve to be called a… — Martin Luther
Man with all his shrewdness is as stupid about understanding by himself the mysteries of God, as an ass is incapable of understanding musical harmony. — John Calvin
Political cartoons are the ass-end of the artform — Ivan Brunetti
Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes… — Lisa Lampanelli

Who Wrote These Ass Quotes

1,145 authors contributed a total of 2,172 Ass Quotes, led by these top contributors: