« All Anybody Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Anybody Quotes by Jack Handey
- Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around…
- To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can…
- I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in…
- Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, "Hey, has…
- Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!
More Anybody Quotes
- Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and… — Aristotle
- I'd like to see the giant squid. Nobody has ever seen one. I could tell you people who have spent thousands and… — David Attenborough
- Give a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the means of… — Jane Austen
- I never took a grant or borrowed a penny from anybody. It was partially because I didn't really know how to do… — Bryan Adams
- Anybody can be a great photographer if they zoom in enough on what they love. — David Bailey
- I think anybody who is racist is an idiot whether they are black or white. — Charles Barkley
- Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry
- The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry
- I don't know anybody's road who's been paved perfectly for them, there are no manuals, you don't know what life has in… — Drew Barrymore
- I never want to get to the point where it's all about my needs, and the hell with anybody else. — Drew Barrymore
- I don't even have voice mail or answering machines anymore. I hate the phone, and I don't want to call anybody back.… — Drew Barrymore
- I don't mind a little Sturm und Drang. When I was doing 'Riding in Cars With Boys,' I wouldn't smile at anybody,… — Drew Barrymore