"Anybody who has an identity problem had better……" — Jack Handey
"Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!"
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Anybody Quotes
This quote is filed under Anybody Quotes,
one of 3,932 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right…
— Aristotle
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I'd like to see the giant squid. Nobody has ever seen one. I could tell you people who have spent…
— David Attenborough
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Give a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the…
— Jane Austen
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I never took a grant or borrowed a penny from anybody. It was partially because I didn't really know how…
— Bryan Adams
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Anybody can be a great photographer if they zoom in enough on what they love.
— David Bailey
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I think anybody who is racist is an idiot whether they are black or white.
— Charles Barkley
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
— Dave Barry
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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would…
— Dave Barry
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I don't know anybody's road who's been paved perfectly for them, there are no manuals, you don't know what life…
— Drew Barrymore
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I never want to get to the point where it's all about my needs, and the hell with anybody else.
— Drew Barrymore
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I don't even have voice mail or answering machines anymore. I hate the phone, and I don't want to call…
— Drew Barrymore
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I don't mind a little Sturm und Drang. When I was doing 'Riding in Cars With Boys,' I wouldn't smile…
— Drew Barrymore
See all 3,932 Anybody Quotes »