“I've always been afraid that someone would steal my identity some day and be more successful at being me than I am!!” — Neil Leckman Afraid Copy Share Image
“Still waiting for them to make reversible diapers, maybe with teflon coating...” — Neil Leckman Diapers Copy Share Image
“This is another one that perplexes me. "Would you like your milk in a bag?" "No, I think it's fine inside that… — Neil Leckman Humor Copy Share Image
“I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!” — Neil Leckman Food Copy Share Image
“They kept yelling at me to pay attention during school, since education hasn't panned out for me can I get a refund,… — Neil Leckman Education Copy Share Image
“My oldest son used to say his stomach had angries when he felt sick. I always pictured an all night fight club… — Neil Leckman Food Copy Share Image
“Has anyone else noticed that most dreams happen while you're asleep? Makes it a lot harder to remember the details...” — Neil Leckman Dreams Copy Share Image
“While walking with a British coach. Why do you chuckle every time we walk by the theater that is showing "Free Willy"?” — Neil Leckman Freedom Copy Share Image
“Wheneve someone asks me, "Did you find everything alright?" I wonder to myself, "Is this a trick question?" Maybe there is something… — Neil Leckman Asks Copy Share Image
“Yesterday I fell completely off the face of the earth Contemplating life, light and love in the darkness of the void Strangely… — Neil Leckman Dark Copy Share Image
“Overheard vampire conversation. "Is that Ophelia?" "yep" "She doesn't look well" "Ever since she drank from that hemophiliac everything just goes right… — Neil Leckman Communication Copy Share Image
“Sure, ask a question, fire away, but remember, just because we answer doesn't mean we care. We all have our own problems,… — Neil Leckman Neil-leckman Copy Share Image
“Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!” — Neil Leckman Humour Copy Share Image
“If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?” — Neil Leckman Books Copy Share Image
“You should never try to jump start your car while taking a shower” — Neil Leckman Common-sense-quotes Copy Share Image
“I made a candle out of earwax so I could listen better in the dark.” — Neil Leckman Candle Copy Share Image
“The man said, "The toy cars are a dollar a piece". The boy thought about that a moment and asked, "How much… — Neil Leckman Humor Copy Share Image
“They started the meeting out by saying, "Everybody please take your seats" I was halfway back to my cubicle with mine before… — Neil Leckman Language-understanding Copy Share Image
“You should always wear rubber gloves, if you're jump starting a car, while taking a shower.” — Neil Leckman Common-sense-philosophy Copy Share Image
“Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead… — Neil Leckman Bad grammar Copy Share Image
“Somebody once told me that I need a reality check, I told them that I'll accept money from any source.” — Neil Leckman Money Copy Share Image
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value… — Neil Leckman Bird Copy Share Image
“I like to provide American humor for British soccer coaches when possible. During keeper practice I'll offer to stand behind the goal… — Neil Leckman Humor Copy Share Image
“They used to say, "A penny for your thoughts". I have heard that zombies will pay up to $5 a pound for… — Neil Leckman Humor Copy Share Image
“Thrice damned she howls like Cerberus to the night Guarding virtues that lie like forgotten stains On oaken floors that pave the… — Neil Leckman Neil-leckman Copy Share Image
“People do not realize just how much effort it takes to do a half ass job properly. A lot of time is… — Neil Leckman Neil-leckman Copy Share Image
“It lies here deep in the heart, the small chest of pain Sharp words like daggers placed it here To fill with… — Neil Leckman Deep heart Copy Share Image
“You ever drive up to the pharmacy window and they ask you, "Can I have your phone number?" Sure all I get… — Neil Leckman Humor Copy Share Image
“Years ago there was an old man I knew that told me he didn't trust me, because people with beards were hiding… — Neil Leckman Beards Copy Share Image
“Life is complex and prone to being pedantic Always little things crawl, flutter and creep in. Nesting in cracks in our psyches… — Neil Leckman Life Copy Share Image
“Tis oft I wonder, which way I should go At times the long road also reaches my goal The dangers are less,… — Neil Leckman Goals Copy Share Image
“This was to be my last trip. Sailing great distances was dangerous, and not very profitable in today's world. I walked down… — Neil Leckman Animals Copy Share Image
“Malcontents who would dissent to paying rent are often bent on bad intent!!” — Neil Leckman Dissent Copy Share Image
“Pharmacy drive-up window: "Could I have your address?" "Well, you could, but that would be one hell of a coincidence!!” — Neil Leckman Coincidence Copy Share Image
“I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!!” — Neil Leckman Awake Copy Share Image
