Best Jon Stewart Proverbs
- And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k. Difficulty
- The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness. Bias
- Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch. Able
- When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways? Checking
- In fourteen hundred ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered America. Now, some have argued Columbus actually discovered the West Indies, or that Norsemen… Actually Discovered
- I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance Censor
- To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for… Cking
- As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable. Adolescent
- I feel your scorn, and I accept it. Accept
- The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to… Building
- What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do? Any
- The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed.… Actually Existed
- The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion of Islam. Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by… Angles
- I don't know where you come from, but I'm very glad you're here. From
- If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us… American
- Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.' Bombs
- Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe they keep him… All
- Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as… Adelphia
- We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat. All
- I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doesn't. It's like the way free speech doesn't apply… Amendment
- GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a… All
- Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking.… Alright
- But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can… Any
- I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it.… Actually Care
- We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we… Anythings
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