"Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with……" — Jon Stewart
"Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle."
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Jon Stewart
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230 Quotes by Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart has 230 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates…
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I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called "fear of success".
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The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is…
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Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let…
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Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it.
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Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell…
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Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys…
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I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried…
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The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
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I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If…
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A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him…
See all 230 quotes by Jon Stewart »
More Adelphia Quotes
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one of 2 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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