All Jay Leno Quotes
- Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House. All
- President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away… August
- They always say the Miss America Pageant isn`t a beauty contest, it`s really a scholarship program. If that`s the case, why don`t we just put… All
- Isn't it a little ironic here? We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues.… America
- Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to. Boys Suck
- I went into McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." And the girl behind the counter says, "Would you like fries with that?" Behind
- Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averagewhich means, you have met your New Year's resolution. America
- The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno Agree
- If you came here tonight for sex with a talk show host, you've got the wrong studio. Came
- When we started this show, my hair was black and the president was white. When we started the show, Jon and Kate were both eight. Black
- I have the same friends I had in high school. I'm married to the same woman I had. I'm still driving the same car I… Absorb
- If we go down in flames, we will be laughing on the way down, believe me. Believe
- Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.' Bill
- In California, 50 women protested the I'm pending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea,… California
- I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time. Find
- Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it… Barrel
- If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed, the governor calls,… Arnold
- George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out because it clears his mind. Sometimes… Bush
- Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of questions. You know,… Allowing
- The Kinsey Institute says gay men have bigger sex organs. Hence the origin of gay pride. Bigger