Green Monk

All Green Monk Quotes

• My girlfriend jokes can beat up your wife jokes. Beat
• The girls we want are so hard to get, but the ones we don't want are so hard to get rid of. Funny
• I must have been really pissed when I drove home last night. We don't own a tractor. Been
• I met the girl of my dreams last night, then Something Inside My Pants woke up Dreams
• There's a smudge on my computer monitor, but I think it's on your side. Computer
• A Bachelor is one who never chases a woman he couldn't outrun. Bachelor
• This time of year is tough on many people. Help'em out by shouting SHUT UP as often as possible. Funny
• If all else fails, get in bed at 8:00pm and watch a bunch of shit on tv. All
• Wishing you were dead is twitter's new hi how are you Dead
• All these killings needs to stop. Lets just fight over internet with CAPS ON. All
• Bitch, I tweet like everyone hates me. Bitch
• Have patience with all things, but, first of all with yourself. And then murder the asshole, Retweeting your Twitter Crush. All
• Some call it vodka, I call it instant whore juice. Call
• For the third time this week, I saw my girlfriend with another man. To be fair, we've never met and she doesn't know she's my… Another Man
• Girls are suckers when it comes to cocks. Cocks
• When you're given a second chance, it's because God thought it was funny when you screwed up the first time and He wants to see… Chance
• They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a shitload of beer and tacos and that's close enough. Beer
• Tell your girlfriend how much you love her out of the blue one day. I bet she'll love it. Bet
• A drunk person is just a fucking awesome version of a sober person. Awesome
• Tweet the tweet you want to retweet. Funny
• I think my baby might be connected to Al-Qaeda the way she blows up her diapers. Al
• There are 2 reasons I haven't killed you. I don't know what to do with the body and I'm the most likely suspect. Happy Aniversary! Aniversary
• I wish my marriage had autocorrect. Autocorrect
• I have one of those open and shut marriages. My pants are always open and my wife's are always shut. Always Open
• No matter how nice you try to be someone will cast you to play the cunt in their life story. Cast

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