All Dave Barry Quotes
- Dogs love to go for rides. A dog will happily get into any vehicle going anywhere. Any
- Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would… All
- The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him. Dog
- Most American homes have alternating current, which means that the electricty goes in one direction for a while, then goes in the other direction. This… Alternating
- Your federal government needs your money so that it can perform vital services for you that you would not think up yourself in a million… Federal
- Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform… Amusement
- I shared this insight with some other boat owners, and they all agreed that, definitely, putting your boar into the water is asking for trouble.… Agreed
- There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs… Boat
- It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large… Boat
- You have to be careful on the deck, because of the "hatches," which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance… Boat
- It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with… America
- Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up… Beer
- He's a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone as a heroin… Boat
- Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare. Airline
- You've read newspaper stories about elderly widows who die and leave their entire estates to their pet cats, right? Well, your cat reads those stories… All
- Derangement is the only possible explanation for owning a cat, an animal whose preferred mode of communication is to sink its claws three-quarters of an… Animal
- Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip. Beauty
- Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of… Actually Working
- By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker. Beauty
- Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains. Advice