“Religion was supposed to be a matter of faith. Gods were not supposed to jump on your desk and snarl at you.… — Christopher Moore Faith Copy Share Image
Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if… — Christopher Moore Happiness Copy Share Image
“Your puny worm god weapons are useless against my superior Christmas Kung Fu.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Success in America doesn't require any special talent or any kind of extra effort. You just have to be consistent and not… — Christopher Moore Extra effort Copy Share Image
“Which isn’t, like, as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass.” — Christopher Moore People Copy Share Image
“he'd replace the window, but the kid was sleeping in his room from now until she was thirty and married to a… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“It is accepted science that God himself gave the French the gift of their cuisine, and while he was downstairs, cursed the… — Christopher Moore Science Copy Share Image
“You want broccoli?" asked Mrs. Korjev. "Is there orange broccoli?" Sophie asked. "Green broccoli is good for you, make you strong, like… — Christopher Moore Humor Copy Share Image
Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants. — Christopher Moore Charlie Copy Share Image
“The Colorman slid off the morgue slab to the cold floor. Bullets pooped from his wounds and plopped on the stone as… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You are my desire. Eating your luscious love thoughts My Junk Just Dropped Off” — Christopher Moore Desire Copy Share Image
Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it. — Christopher Moore House Copy Share Image
“Foo shuddered. It had been less than an hour since the cops led Abby away and already he missed her like a… — Christopher Moore Bite me Copy Share Image
Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king's middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but… — Christopher Moore Advice Copy Share Image
“Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night. Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.” — Christopher Moore Last night Copy Share Image
I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare… — Christopher Moore Dropping Copy Share Image
“Joshua and I tried to engage Joy in conversation several times during the journey to Kabul, but she was cranky and abrupt… — Christopher Moore Communication Copy Share Image
Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs?" -Tommy — Christopher Moore Collections Copy Share Image
“I said,” said Lear, “most pernicious monstress, perfect in her perfidy!” Kent mimed a set of generous bosoms on himself and raised… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm. — Christopher Moore Be spontaneous Copy Share Image
