Quote by Christopher Moore

“I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”

— Larry Correia

“No, it wasn’t vampires—vampires don’t exist. Angels destroyed them all decades ago, every last sparkly one of them, and you’re welcome.”

— Skyla Madi

“Vampires don’t sparkle in the sun; they burn to a crisp.”

— Joleene Naylor

“I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner, but you'll have to forgive an old vampire for being a bit rusty in the dreamscape.”

— Sara Humphreys

“Really, honestly. There aren’t vampires out there, are there?” Good grief, she sounded like a love struck teenager. Probably thought they sparkled in the…

— Shannon Mayer

“Do you believe in vampires? Not the sparkly variety.”

— Sarah Beth Durst

“He looked at the carpet, where moments before the creature had lain, then at her again. She didn't seem rattled. "Who are you, Buffy?"…

— Nicole Murphy

“So that’s why vampires are so pissed off all the time? Because their junk’s gone rusty?”

— S.L.J. Shortt

“I totally feel like Buffy right now. All I need is a girly leather jacket,” L said breathlessly. “And some vampires. Don’t forget that.”…

— Shelly Crane

“Werewolf? Did he just say that? He did. Shit! Vampires exist and now Werewolves.”

— Laurann Dohner

“(Sorry, we made vampires; it seemed like a good idea at the time.)”

— Justin Cronin

“And vampires never sparkle unless they just ate a stripper.”

— James R. Tuck