If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
