If we were to inspect ourselves or members of our family and our friends, we would see that we don't really have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Sheep farming is heavily subsidized in Great Britain. Without the subsidies, the green grazing in the valley of the River Exe would… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The divorce rate in 1946 was higher than it ever had been and as high as it ever would be until the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
