Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Washington journalists can afford to live almost as well as people who work for a living. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Think about last time you were broke ... now how well did it go with spending your way out of it? Did… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Then Saturday Night Live spawns... well, everything right down to American Pie 9, where all humor has to be irrelevant, which can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real truth about children is they don't speak the language very well. They're physically uncoordinated. And they are ignorant of our… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pollution is a problem, and there's the whole problem of the spoiling of the commons, but we've addressed the pollution problem on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
West Germans are tall, pink, pert and orthodontically corrected, with hands, teeth and hair as clean as their clothes and clothes as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, 'That's not fair.' When she says that, I say,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Oh, God. The Sixties are coming back. Well I've got a 12-gauge double-barreled duck gun chambered for three-inch Magnum shells. And -… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In England, all the English car companies were beginning to circle the drain in a series of well-deserved failures and bankruptcies, earned… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The preamble to the Constitution states: "We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
