Want Quotes by Christopher Titus

10 Want quotes by Christopher Titus

All Want quotes Christopher Titus’s page

Christopher Titus’s ten concise observations on wanting carry his trademark sarcasm and candid humor. This brief compilation provides a quick, entertaining look at how he riffs on desire.

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If you want to do something dangerous... Don't tell your girlfriend!

Christopher Titus

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If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. George Washington, took on the British Empire. Neil Armstrong…

Christopher Titus

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And my daughter's too smart. She gets it watching TV. She gets it. She's five. She gets it. I... I have a…

Christopher Titus

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And one more thing I want to be clear about- I know who I am. I am just a very thin layer…

Christopher Titus

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The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five…

Christopher Titus

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Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for that.…

Christopher Titus

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Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we have in…

Christopher Titus

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Your first leader is your dad. 'course he controls your food and shelter, so, he's not really a leader, he's more of…

Christopher Titus

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If you want something bad enough, you've got to make a bold move. Just make sure you clear the bold move with…

Christopher Titus

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My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth one 'cause he…

Christopher Titus

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More by Christopher Titus

My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!

Christopher Titus

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Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the…

Christopher Titus

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I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.…

Christopher Titus

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My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.…

Christopher Titus

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Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…

Christopher Titus

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Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.

Christopher Titus

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All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on…

Christopher Titus

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Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.

Christopher Titus

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Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.

Christopher Titus

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When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could…

Christopher Titus

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If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.

Christopher Titus

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Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.

Christopher Titus

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Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.

Christopher Titus

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The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies.

Christopher Titus

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Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!

Christopher Titus

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