Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Everybody has hope for the perfect love. Normal people are raised to believe that there's someone out there who's your soulmate, your… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My father, never chooses me for anything. If you needed a kidney and I offered him mine, well, pfft. Well, he'd take… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Love. It's God's greatest gift. He fills our world with it and makes sure we grow up with caring, supportive parents. I'm… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
I wish we had a relationship Starbucks cuz that's where you make it perfect. You can get everything perfect at Starbucks. If… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for that.… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Valentines Day is the day we celebrate real love. A love so strong that two hearts become one. And when she's happy,… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
How far would you go for someone you love ? Well, when my grandkids ask me how I pledged my love to… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Valentines Day is a day we celebrate real love. A love so strong that two hearts become one. Yeah, when you're happy,… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
This country you're sitting in right now was not built on love, hugs, time-outs and trophies you didn't earn. This country was… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that! — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
