Littles Quotes by Christopher Titus

11 Littles quotes by Christopher Titus

All Littles quotes Christopher Titus’s page

Christopher Titus finds comedy in the everyday, and these eleven snippets prove it. He spins the trivial into punchy observations that both amuse and provoke a thoughtful smile.

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Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!

Christopher Titus

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By the way, six A.M.? Not a real great time for me; you know, I'm a comic. I get off work at…

Christopher Titus

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I say we spend some money, clean up some junkies and make them all go work for the Red Cross. You ever…

Christopher Titus

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Normal people, who grow up with compassion, never amount to anything. They're the ones who end up gluing those little dots on…

Christopher Titus

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So it seems that because of every syndrome and disorder we've invented in the past twenty years, the Los Angeles Times reported…

Christopher Titus

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Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. Peer pressure, acne, final exams, seven little tiny hairs on your…

Christopher Titus

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Blood doesn't make you family. Hell, an only child can bleed. It's the sharing of pain that makes you family. 'Cause, you…

Christopher Titus

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Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come…

Christopher Titus

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When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how…

Christopher Titus

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Humans are born, small, weak and helpless. That's why we have family. And the elders of the family are the honoured guardians…

Christopher Titus

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Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every…

Christopher Titus

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My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!

Christopher Titus

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Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the…

Christopher Titus

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I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.…

Christopher Titus

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My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.…

Christopher Titus

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Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…

Christopher Titus

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Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.

Christopher Titus

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All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on…

Christopher Titus

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Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.

Christopher Titus

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Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.

Christopher Titus

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When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could…

Christopher Titus

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If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.

Christopher Titus

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Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.

Christopher Titus

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