Comic Quote by Christopher Titus

“By the way, six A.M.? Not a real great time for me; you know, I'm a comic. I get off work at two. Six A.M., I'm a little grumpy. Six A.M., I'm a little P.O.ed. Six A.M., I'm like a vampire with a paper route.”

Christopher Titus

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Comic Great times Grumpy Knows Littles Paper Real Routes Six Time Two Vampire Way

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My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!

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Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the…

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I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.…

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My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.…

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Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…

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Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.

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All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on…

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Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.

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Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.

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When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could…

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If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.

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Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.

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I never envisioned when I was reading that comic as a 17-year-old that I would have the opportunity to actually play the character.

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Only one letter divides the comic from the cosmic.

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Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.

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I started publishing my comic while I was still living with my parents.

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When you think of comic book readers, you never think of the brown girl, and I was that.

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I was born a comic.

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“The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.”

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