Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush admitted that the United States went to war in Iraq based on bad intelligence. But he says knowing what we… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
And Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Today the United States has admitted that after months and months of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code - they don't like anything that makes more money in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
At a press conference yesterday NASA announced that 2005 was the hottest year on record. It is so hot, and global warming… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists' team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you think of life as like a big pie, you can try to hold the whole pie and kill yourself trying… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Of course, Republicans still can't believe that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. But then Democrats can't believe that Sarah Palin… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
