[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image