You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven. — Dennis Miller Eating Copy Share Image
That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena. — Dennis Miller Berries Copy Share Image
I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless. — Dennis Miller Inspirational Copy Share Image
How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides? — Dennis Miller Animal Copy Share Image
I've seen better coverage at an Alan Keyes press conference. — Dennis Miller Conferences Copy Share Image
Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is. Unfortunately, it's a complex situation, and we don't have the final… — Dennis Miller Answers Copy Share Image
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. — Dennis Miller Found Copy Share Image
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Dream Copy Share Image
Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond… — Dennis Miller Bad guy Copy Share Image
When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat. — Dennis Miller Courses Copy Share Image
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party. — Dennis Miller Communist Copy Share Image
I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best… — Dennis Miller Best Copy Share Image
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention. — Dennis Miller Attention Copy Share Image
Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'...… — Dennis Miller Chance Copy Share Image
If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality… — Dennis Miller Cassettes Copy Share Image
What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then… — Dennis Miller Business Copy Share Image
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a… — Dennis Miller Addict Copy Share Image
If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text… — Dennis Miller Fiji Copy Share Image
I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money… — Dennis Miller Addict Copy Share Image
Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I… — Dennis Miller Care Copy Share Image
Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things… — Dennis Miller Conservative Copy Share Image
[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on… — Dennis Miller America Copy Share Image
It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he… — Dennis Miller Band Copy Share Image
I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man,… — Dennis Miller Care Copy Share Image
The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or… — Dennis Miller Bad guy Copy Share Image
America was founded by puritans and like it or not the anti-pleasure dogma of those buckled-shoed killjoys still pervades our collective unconscious… — Dennis Miller America Copy Share Image
Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions… — Dennis Miller Alien life Copy Share Image
Seems to me we move the furniture, the French come in later and put the doilies on top of it...It's a simple… — Dennis Miller Dirty Copy Share Image
I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song,… — Dennis Miller Bats Copy Share Image
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. — Dennis Miller Bad girl Copy Share Image
Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts. — Dennis Miller Nuts Copy Share Image
![“[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a02/dennis-miller-1315_america_the-internet-is-an-amazing-communication_3028391.jpg)
![“It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/058/dennis-miller-1315_band_it-s-a-cocktail-party-circuit-in-d-c-tha_2538646.jpg)
