I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.” — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“The only time that my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.” — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't want to give me money to make films, that will stop me. But as long as people come all over the world and I have an audience and I have ideas for films, I will do… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
