“This place reminds me of the time I had amnesia. I think. It also reminds me of being in love. That must… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love like I make lasagna. Makes me hungry just thinking about it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She said “I love you,” and I said the only thing I could say: “How about every other Tuesday?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My amazing feat features shoes (and feet)—it’s how far I’d walk for love. Guess how far? However far it is from the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love has six sides, but it’s not a coffin. That’s just an optical illusion. Still, one day my love for you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Falling in love should be natural, like the food at Moe’s. Baby, I am so hungry for you, even though I know… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“She said, “What?” so I replied, “What what?” She gave me a look that said, “What what what?” and I didn’t respond… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is the sound of footsteps behind you in a dark hallway. Why does it seem like I’m walking on grass, rather… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous woman, but she was more expensive.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is two smiles shared between two people. Or two smiles and a smirk, shared between one couple and a jerk. Or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The very thing keeping me alive is also killing me—love. No wonder the rose symbolizes both love and death. They should have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go down one flight of stairs… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is orange, though sometimes it will make you blue. You might see that as depressing, but I see it as a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am Orafoura and he is me. And he is not me. And I am not me. Or him. And I am… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I was young, I was 13 going on 31. Then when I was 30 going on 31, I was 30 going… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am the alphabet soup of love. Eat me or read me, but don’t feed me to the cats.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Just like trying to ice skate on two sticks of butter in the desert, my love for her melted and was no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love like a leprechaun, and I cuddle like a rainbow—after a shower.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve always wanted to make love to a triangle, but I’m always two angles short. Ah, but that’s life, no?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am the sphinx of love. But I didn’t used to be. I used to be a sphink—which has the head of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
