“When you give everything and expect nothing in return, only then will you be in a position to gain anything. When you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We went for a walk, though we didn’t hold hands because we went in separate directions.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I wish I were someone else. Times like those I borrow somebody else’s nametag. I make love like Todd. At least… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I ask God what I did to deserve her love. I maintain my innocence, and of all the forms of God’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think the most romantic letter you ever gave me was “W,” because it’s a couple of soul mate “V”s. Or maybe… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I built my ex wife a Castle of Love, and she dug a moat and filled it with sharks and lawyers. Oh… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is like the collision between a falling statue and still bird poop.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is the thing that holds life together. Sort of like rind to a melon, cloth to a stuffed animal, or money… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We got into an argument over the color of love. I said it was pink, and he said it was red. So… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d rather be snorkeling in the sea of love. But instead I’m stuck here, in a fully paid, all-inclusive resort in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What I got out of church was a love of God, and a detestable feeling for the men standing in the way… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The two spoons were stuck together. Not because they were sticky, but because they were stubborn and clingy and “in love.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is a boomerang dripped in honey, in that it emanates from me just as surely as it will return to me.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love has a glow, like a neon light having sex with a pack of hi-lighters, only not quite as quaint.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll tell you what love is. Love is walking up and down Archer Road in Gainesville, Florida and feeling like Cupid. Too… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Farmers don’t picket government corruption, they picket fences. Let this be a lesson in love and the proper way to separate churlish… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My heart beats to the rhythm of the windshield wipers. I’d better never drive in the desert, unless I want to die.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t demand much. All I expect is for you to love me so much you kill yourself just to get my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like a cloudless blue sky. That’s why I always carry an open umbrella.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Water is like love, but love is not like water. No, because if it were, I’d be the camel of love.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The earth has lots of love to give, if you just know where to dig. My advice is start in the cemetery.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m twice as old as she is tall. She’s half my age in height. We have a David and Goliath kind of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I both made the knife-fighting team, and I got cut. If only love were so easy to understand.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
