A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Russian cars are silly. They look like imports drawn by a cartoonist for a UAW newsletter. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place! — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
West Germans are tall, pink, pert and orthodontically corrected, with hands, teeth and hair as clean as their clothes and clothes as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics doesn't work. Look at the parts of America where government has had the most power, where government has spent the most… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Imagine a weight-loss program at the end of which, instead of better health, good looks, and hot romantic prospects, you die. Somalia… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The wise traveler [to Beirut] will pack shirts or blouses with ample breast pockets. Reaching inside a jacket for your passport looks… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Generally it's not a good idea to wear Banana Republic - type khaki journalist clothes in a war zone. You might look… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Once we realized that there were these 25 invariable types - the class politician, the frigid popular girl, the kid who tags… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The people I see on bicycles look like organic-gardening zealots who advocate federal regulation of bedtime and want American foreign policy to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“The wise traveler [to Beirut] will pack shirts or blouses with ample breast pockets. Reaching inside a jacket for your passport looks too much like going for the draw and puts armed men out of countinence” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/97f/p-j-o-rourke-184_beirut_the-wise-traveler-to-beirut-will-pack-sh_2420484.jpg)
![“[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler, or Ralph Nader, or anybody who seems like a difficult person to understand, and is therefore not part of the pattern of human behavior. Think about who they were in high school…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/900/p-j-o-rourke-184_behavior_kurt-vonnegut-once-said-if-you-ever-want_97504.jpg)
