You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When we look at the settling of America we see a Bible in hand and God. Every Thanksgiving has God and the… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Guys standing around and talking about Spanish fly: 'You know anything about Spanish fly?' 'No, tell me about it.' Well there's this girl Crazy… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
God has a sense of humor though and he must see funny things in us. He must also have some love. We're still here… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
