Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Then Saturday Night Live spawns... well, everything right down to American Pie 9, where all humor has to be irrelevant, which can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Men generally pay for all expenses on a date ... either sex, however, may bring a little gift, its value to be… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I try to ONLY ridicule people who's efforts are sincere. Very little trouble has been caused in the world by insincere efforts.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
They don't like anyone who isn't Korean, and they don't like each other all that much, either. They're hardheaded, hard-drinking, tough little… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go outdoors much,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'd known the people at Rolling Stone for a while. I'd gone to them with a piece I'd done on Beirut for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how many televisions and computers and pieces of stereo equipment the Chinese send to us, even if they're sending… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. You've probably never… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Road To Serfdom was written during WWII, and basically it's an anti-Nazi, anti-communist thing, but also it's an anti-Conservative and anti-Labor-party… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Once we realized that there were these 25 invariable types - the class politician, the frigid popular girl, the kid who tags… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Off they go on this sort of camping trip to Iwo Jima, where they're taken around and shown where all the battles… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
