To know how to structure the joke perfectly so that the narrative information is given in the right tempo, in just the… — David Salle Copy Share Image
“Atoms are round balls of wood invented by Dr. Dalton. (Answer given by a pupil to a question on atomic theory, as… — Henry Enfield Roscoe Copy Share Image
If there were some people who considered me a joke, I'm sorry about that. But I did not do it for any… — Eddie the Eagle Copy Share Image
So many guys are so conservative with their hair, and I always joke with all my buddies when they mess with me,… — Tom Brady Copy Share Image
I'm infamous, a joke. It doesn't make me feel good, because I'm a genuine person, but I don't let it get to… — William Hung Copy Share Image
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter… — Ron White Copy Share Image
“Where have you been lately?” Christina says. She wiggles her eyebrows. “With Four? Doing a little . . . addition? Multiplication?” I cover my… — Veronica Roth Copy Share Image
“Laugh until you cry; never let your eyes look dry This is not a matter of joke; this is all to provoke… — Munia Khan Copy Share Image
“Actually, the Bible doesn’t say anything about masturbation,” I said, adding, “unless you count, ‘Whatever you find to do with your hand,… — Michael Lister Copy Share Image
“Ooh ho!” he says. “In such a small boat? Tonto!” Fool. “It’s not so small, it’s my whole house.” The old man… — Steven Callahan Copy Share Image
Generally speaking, we get the joke. We know that the free market is nonsense. We know that the whole point is to… — Ron Bloom Copy Share Image
“Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about… — Bridget Zinn Copy Share Image
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke.… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I used to pencil in my eyebrows super thick and squarish. I look back at pictures and think, Why didn't anybody tell… — Ego Nwodim Copy Share Image
Kanye's the best listener I've ever worked with. If I interrupt Kanye, every single time, he'll wait for me to finish before… — Scooter Braun Copy Share Image
One of my favorite things, coming of age, reading comics, was these ideologies and these philosophies of these characters. Seeing those on… — Cameron Monaghan Copy Share Image
My mother tells this joke about how when I was little I used to say, 'Mummy, all I want is a stable… — Sophie Dahl Copy Share Image
My role of Gutthi is not a joke on the female gender but a tribute to them. Gutthi is in fact just… — Sunil Grover Copy Share Image
I love jokes, but God, jokes can go so wrong. I have stayed up many nights thinking, "F**k. I can't believe I… — Drew Barrymore Copy Share Image
Literature more often tells the story of impulses we don't act on than of ones we do. I could joke about the… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Courtney Love is so famous among journalists for her loquaciousness that the joke is that you don't have to worry about questions… — Robert Hilburn Copy Share Image
In the beginning, every little thing used to bother me. Now, even the worst sounding things sound like a joke because I've… — Ryan Higa Copy Share Image
I think I was born to be a clown. I just haven't figured out how to bring that side of myself into… — Lucas Hedges Copy Share Image
Taking the time to polish a pun or fine-tune a practical joke is a way of saying, 'I'm thinking about you and… — Andrew Hudgins Copy Share Image
Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's… — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
“CUSTOMER: I’m always on night shift at work. BOOKSELLER (jokingly): Is that why you’re buying so many vampire novels? CUSTOMER (seriously): You… — Jen Campbell Copy Share Image
'Meow The Jewels' was a nightmare of a promise I had to fulfill. We made a joke that if the fans gave… — El-P Copy Share Image
Some people don't seem to be able to distinguish between humour and what you really feel. They forget that there's a difference… — Limmy Copy Share Image
My joke is that my father was a minister and my mother was an English teacher, so I'm trained to see the… — Libba Bray Copy Share Image
That's the thing about comedy, there's something utterly delightful and slightly pure about a really good joke, and to create one is… — Sean Lock Copy Share Image
The Danes don't take themselves seriously at all and look for the joke in everything. Us Scots are on the same line… — Jamie Sives Copy Share Image
Boy:Hey wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind its too long... :P Girl:Hey, wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Oh… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't write a joke. I could never write. I do a lot of stories and I call them stories, but they're… — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
“It’s funny how when it’s somebody else telling the story it’s easy to see that He can’t take a joke is just… — Melissa DeCarlo Copy Share Image
The beautiful thing about comedy in the U.K. is that it has a clever twist to it, and when you really break… — Katherine Ryan Copy Share Image
When you go and meet people in far-flung parts of the world who need help, they're not earnest; they're having a laugh… — Hugh Dennis Copy Share Image
A novel wouldn't be a book if there weren't some flights of fancy on the part of the author, stopping time to… — Ned Vizzini Copy Share Image
I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which… — David Cross Copy Share Image
The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
