We didn't choose the joke because it's filthy! We chose it because of the structure! — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
When something makes no sense, sometimes you make something of it. A joke. A spiritual practice. A life. — Heather Sellers Copy Share Image
Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching. — Baltasar Gracian Copy Share Image
After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind… — Wilson Bethel Copy Share Image
I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Well, everybody used to joke that I saved the first dollar that I ever made in Van Halen. I probably did somewhere. — Michael Anthony Copy Share Image
“Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Dick Gregory used every syllable, every metaphor, every joke, every march, every incarceration, every hour of his life, to embarrass this country… — Joe Morton Copy Share Image
To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good… — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
Prior to 'Tokyo Drift,' the iconic perception of Asians in Hollywood films has been either the Kung Fu guy, the Yakuza guy… — Sung Kang Copy Share Image
Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have… — John Fahey Copy Share Image
I'd become a bit of a joke. People would make memes, chopping my head off in a group photo and putting a… — Jesy Nelson Copy Share Image
Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said.… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Algorithms diminish public safety in this country. They ask us to pretend that lengthy arrest records and violent crimes don't matter. They… — John Kennedy Copy Share Image
“People laughed when they heard a good joke, but they groaned when they heard a pun, because there was no such thing… — Lucy Mihajlich Copy Share Image
I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy,… — Bernie Mac Copy Share Image
“. . .when the album was done I loved it. It was a mixture of electric and acoustic solo performances with dubs.… — Neil Young Copy Share Image
Every once in a while, friends leave sarcastic comments on photos. I know they're joking, but the sarcastic humor doesn't always translate… — Peyton List Copy Share Image
One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
“At my urgent request the Curie laboratory, in which radium was discovered a short time ago, was shown to me. The Curies… — Ostwald Wilhelm Copy Share Image
Someone said Anderson Silva and GSP would be a $12 million fight. I told people that for $12 million, I'd fight them… — Chuck Liddell Copy Share Image
Reactionary conservatives are smiling through the racial apocalypse. To them, race baiting is a joke, as 'humorist' Rush Limbaugh will tell you… — John Ridley Copy Share Image
“Hey, do you mind not squeezing my head off. I remember how powerful those thighs are.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water.” — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.” — Hermann Hesse Copy Share Image
My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: 'Who's reviewing parking lots?' — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
Art should be serious, not a joke. I don't like to laugh about art. — Gerhard Richter Copy Share Image
“Compared to the power of the sun, everything else is a joke, including all the wrenches, clockwork, springs and even your steam” — Andrius B. Tapinas Copy Share Image
“Under the ground, in Munich, Germany, two people stood and spoke in a basement. It sounds like the beginning of a joke:… — Markus Zusak Copy Share Image
Sometimes I can't think of a better way to end my day than coming home and just strumming my ukulele for a… — Jake Shimabukuro Copy Share Image
Around year seven or eight, you'd kill yourself when you realized Norm had to enter and you had to come up with… — Ted Danson Copy Share Image
I'm not interested in being the damsel in distress; I want someone who has her own storyline and her own mission -… — Eleanor Tomlinson Copy Share Image
“It’s not a joke if it’s not entirely clear. But most jokes play off of ambiguity and sudden juxtaposition, so a joke… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
There's a joke in the movie...it's got a fairytale ending, and this is a spoiler: Donald Trump does contract HIV. I think… — Sacha Baron Cohen Copy Share Image
