We should never hesitate to listen to a fool about life because life is pretty foolish as far as I can tell. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It could be that all awful dictators are frustrated artists - Mao with his poetry and Mussolini with his monuments. Stalin was… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
This going on and on about how terrible a carbon-based economy is, these people are full of crap. They don't know what… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Bob Wallace was my editor at Rolling Stone when I first started writing there, and he's a wonderful editor. I was in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
