It looked something like a pen wiper and something like a piece of hearth-rug. A second and keener inspection revealed it as… — P. G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“It is a tedious cliché (and, unlike many clichés, it isn't even true) that science concerns itself with how questions, but only… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Sage went supperless to bed, and tossed and writhed all night upon a shuck mattress that was full of attentive and interested… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Still trying to save the world?” “Always,” I said, “and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s working. The world is still here.” — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them. — P. G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
Intolerance is the ''Do Not Touch'' sign on something that cannot bear touching. We do not mind having our hair ruffled, but… — Eric Hoffer Copy Share Image
Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead. — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
“The elevator doors opened to reveal a very large man brandishing a bloodstained antique phone receiver in a plastic bag and proclaiming,… — Warren Ellis Copy Share Image
Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
Indeed, so far from being humorous, the male American is the most abnormally serious creature who ever existed.. It is only fair… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
There's a lot of different ways that a song would be a challenge to parody. There are a lot of songs that… — Al Yankovic Copy Share Image
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Okay everybody, line up in alphabetical order according to your height. — Casey Stengel Copy Share Image
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The streak of bleach in my hair is as obvious as ever. Am I really going out in public like this? I… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left,… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
...the wonderful poems interpreting with equal magic the romance of strange lands and times, or the modern soul, naked and unashamed, as… — Israel Zangwill Copy Share Image
