The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out… — Judith Martin Copy Share Image
“True...I hear voices in my head keep talking to me. The good thing for now is...I never answer them back.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
“And then I laugh, because it's so ridiculous and so gorgeous and it's all I can do to not melt into a… — Sara Gruen Copy Share Image
“If I had a nickel for all the times I've been shushed in my life? Bam! Instant millionaire!” — Christy Hall Copy Share Image
They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely.… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Have you ever had one of those days, when you're holding a stick and everybody looks like a pinnate? — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
A fine horse or a beautiful woman, I cannot look at them unmoved, even now when seventy winters have chilled my blood. — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Spanish was weird that way: two words for monkeys, and esposas meant both wives and handcuffs. That said a lot.” — Ann Aguirre Copy Share Image
And dilettantism is a humorous way to survive. Everybody understands you for it and everybody hates you for it. And not everybody… — Francesco Clemente Copy Share Image
“If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“if I decide to help you, I want only two things in return. Freedom for my people" - it was what he… — Gene Showalter Copy Share Image
“Looks to me like Felicity didn’t enjoy being mauled,” Daniel pointed out reasonably. When what he reasonably wanted to do, was shove… — Vanessa Jaye Copy Share Image
Yes, Gujaratis are humorous but that's not all there is to them. Gujaratis are independent, determined and very hardworking. — Paresh Rawal Copy Share Image
I consider myself a bit of a comedian. I write a lot of humorous songs. — Brad Paisley Copy Share Image
Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful… — Karl Marx Copy Share Image
