I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“College = A place where you spend a ton of money for a piece of paper that says you're qualified.” — Korey Miracle Copy Share Image
“Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If there was sadness in this creative world of mine, it was a pleasant sadness. If there were problems, they were humorous… — Norman Rockwell Copy Share Image
A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds. — Percy Ross Copy Share Image
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
“Worry wasn’t an emotion to which he was particularly accustomed—and it worried him.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called "Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You." — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been… — Brooks Atkinson Copy Share Image
“The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Matt Mason must be declared the poet laureate of the Midwest! No other native son celebrates the overlooked America, its unsung citizens… — Rigoberto Gonzalez Copy Share Image
In the world of human thought generally, and in physical science particularly, the most important and fruitful concepts are those to which… — Hans Kramers Copy Share Image
“Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.” — Regina Griffin Copy Share Image
“You're dying to meet my needs. You can't look away from my luscious half-naked body. The minute I opened the door you… — Kylie Scott Copy Share Image
The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland,… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
I thought I was going to be known for my humor. But then I had an idea for a story, which was… — Jay Asher Copy Share Image
“Did you once own ruby slippers, and did a house fall on your head? You're a daft little munchkin.” — Heather Fleener Copy Share Image
