Students ask me why I don't have tattoos. . . So I tell them, Do you see a Ferrari with bumper stickers. . . — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
“See that car?’ It was Welch’s, parked slightly nearer one kerb than the other” — Kingsley Amis Copy Share Image
“You have to come downstairs now!" panted Alice. "What's wrong?" "Everything! Izzy's floating, Melanie ran into the wall, my hand made a… — Katie Mattie Copy Share Image
“If only, I thought, I could talk to Eugene just one more time. This was before I came to understand that you… — Patricia Marx Copy Share Image
My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny. — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants.” — Evangeline Anderson Copy Share Image
“You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity, into one of enormous respect!” — Max Bialystock Copy Share Image
“I really am a little afraid, my dear,” hinted the cherub meekly, “that you are not enjoying yourself?” “On the contrary,” returned… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
9 saw the first direct-dialed long-distance telephone call, between New York and San Francisco. Of course, back in that primitive era the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day. Perhaps I should have found it pleasanter if… — Thomas Bailey Aldrich Copy Share Image
“Monique bit at the side of lip. “He’s pretty active, I don’t want to impose…” Tony stood and scooped up the puppy.… — Kirsten Fullmer Copy Share Image
I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well.… — Ron Glass Copy Share Image
“The cup flew out of my hands and my God was it beautiful. I wish the Planet Earth video crew were there… — David Bowick Copy Share Image
I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.) — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom” — Mark Buff Copy Share Image
Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
