New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“One should never marry a man who doesn't own a decent set of scissors.” — Gillian Flynn Copy Share Image
“For God's sake put on your glasses, Sam. You're staring right at my boobs.” — Jillian Eaton Copy Share Image
I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level. — Tori Spelling Copy Share Image
You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The great thing about costume jewelry is that there's something for everyone - there are very humorous pieces and very extravagant and… — Judith Miller Copy Share Image
You'll call me a damned Jew, a Christ murderer, a secret worshipper of pigs and a kidnapper of christian children.' This was… — Bernard Cornwell Copy Share Image
“I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident.” — Joshua Donellan Copy Share Image
“His mama beat him with an ugly stick so hard, it gone straight on till his soul.” — Delia Sherman Copy Share Image
“Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt kept an evening school in the village; that is to say, she was a ridiculous old woman of limited… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that my own hands, all of my life, I… — Al Gore Copy Share Image
It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Shawn's (Shawn Weatherly - former beauty queen) acting ability is such that she could not convey the concept of falling if your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
I don't laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way. — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
“Demane: "Gods could only carry away Homo celestialis with them, you see, because the angels had already learned to make their bodies… — Kai Ashante Wilson Copy Share Image
Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back — Robert Quillen Copy Share Image
“I have a constant hungry bum. It's like my own venus fly trap” — Monica Merrill Mylet Copy Share Image
