“White? That's good. virginal. He'll be reminded this is a first for you and hopefully won't just impale you on his pork… — Carmen Jenner Copy Share Image
The Soviet Union at this time was being run by the Communists, a group of men fierce in their dedication to wearing… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“You can crab over the morning paper and kick the shins of the guy in the next seat at the movies and… — Raymond Chandler Copy Share Image
The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
“Unfortunately...I missed out on the California Gold Rush a century before...I'll be dammed if I miss out on this one.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
I guess the more serious you play something, if the context is funny, then it will be funny and it doesn't really… — Jesse Eisenberg Copy Share Image
In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. So throw me down, tie me up, and show… — Skye Eagleday Copy Share Image
You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“Well,' said Mrs. Erdleigh, speaking kindly, as if to a child who has proposed a game inevitably associated with the breakage of… — Anthony Powell Copy Share Image
“Who’d have thought your screwball brother could have gone so serial-killer fucktwat insane?” — Larissa Ione Copy Share Image
When I started writing this, I found that I simply couldn't take fantasy seriously, so it became humorous, and continued from there. — Piers Anthony Copy Share Image
""Dear girl," continued Bob advancing with an imbecile grin upon his countenance, which he imagined no doubt to be a seductive smile,… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
I intended to give you some advice but now I remember how much is left over from last year unused. — George Harris Copy Share Image
“This must be the most embarrassing moment in my life. I am glad I am too ill to appreciate it fully.” — Janet Mullany Copy Share Image
Stalin didn't write any memoirs. He was too secretive. He was afraid people might read them. — Jonathan Lynn Copy Share Image
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. — Ashleigh Brilliant Copy Share Image
“One day we found them. They must of been holding a gook convention or something, cause it seem like the same sort… — Winston Groom Copy Share Image
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
“Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
