Beer:$10, Weed:$20, Condoms:$2.75. Finding out she swallows and has no gag reflex... PRICELESS! Fuck mastercard it pays to discover! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you've fallin asleep during a movie...you're no longer watching the movie the movie is watching you...wishing it could go to sleep… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The cleverest character in comedy is the clown, for he who would make people take him for a fool, must not be… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Unless a man or woman has experienced the darkness of the soul he or she can know nothing of that transforming laughter… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There will be no more protest. No more dissension. No more violence. There will be only one voice. The voice of Ravinia.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its true that laughter really is cheap medicine. Its a prescription anyone can afford. And best of all, you can fill it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At sleepovers: Friends= Oh they're still sleeping, I'll just wait...Best Friends= Wake up b*tch, I'm hungry. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Brain, Please start being able to tell the difference between hungry and bored. Sincerely, I am getting fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It`s funny how hello always ends with a goodbye, it`s funny how good memories can start to make you cry. It`s funny… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What comes after the letter T? Normal people: U. Me: Wait.. A,B,C,D,E,F,G.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If my boss paid me in Trident Layers, I'd probably have to kick his ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“For me, boviscopophobia (=the morbid fear of being seen as bovine) is an even stronger motive than semi-agoraphobia for staying on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Sometimes, you have to shot block a friend's prayer because she's asking God to bless an obviously bad dating relationship.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A foreigner visiting the United States thought 'oakie doakie' was the feminine of 'O.K.' Of course, he was mistaken. The feminine of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“What's on the inside, beneath that sugar? Is it a bug? Is it a booger?” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im talking about u girl yes the one who teasing me with the clothes lol jk — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just as true humor is laughter at oneself, true humanity is knowledge of oneself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Thank you.” A bright blush stained her cheeks. “For last night. For chasing the monsters away…” “Anytime. It’s kind of my job… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a witty person, but a pebble in the hands of a fool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't stalk. I just update myself on what's going on in people's lives. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want my people to laugh like a lion's roar. Then even laughter becomes a tremendous experience, because it is intelligence at… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
