The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
