Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life...so, something that is potentially four months down the road is… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work,… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“But our leaders can’t tell the truth. We won’t let them. We’ve created a society where the politicians aren’t allowed to criticize the people.… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
