“And why do we think for a second that having the government involved will make things better” — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“I don’t know why I seem to be the only one who understands that when the government provides something for free—whether it’s… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“The government is a giant corporation with no competition that is constantly trying to keep you off balance so it can siphon… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“I don’t know why I seem to be the only one who understands that when the government provides something for free—whether it’s… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“Humans need challenges to overcome, just like a muscle needs resistance to grow. In a zero-gravity environment, an astronaut’s muscles atrophy because… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“Our current government doesn’t give a f*** about transportation. They only give a f*** about making money. When it comes to synchronizing… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“More importantly, as comedians, our job is to say what is on our minds. Unfiltered and un-focus-group-tested. That’s what drives me nuts… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life...so, something that is potentially four months down the road is… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work,… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
“But our leaders can’t tell the truth. We won’t let them. We’ve created a society where the politicians aren’t allowed to criticize the people.… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
![“[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.” quote by Adam Carolla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/92b/adam-carolla-2058_bags_giving-welfare-to-poor-people-is-the-equ_2434500.jpg)
