A man who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.-Groucho Marx A man's only as old as the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is beautiful… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image