Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The budget doesn't have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn't have much control over the budget. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. AND… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
How a peaceful, uncrowded place with ample wherewithal stays poor is hard to explain. How a conflict-ridden, grossly over-populated place with no… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A pleasant natural environment is a good - a luxury good, philosophical good, a moral goody-good, a good time for all. Whatever,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics doesn't work. Look at the parts of America where government has had the most power, where government has spent the most… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The main reason to be opposed to political control of smoking is to keep power -even the smallest and silliest kind of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are lots of levels of fear and complaint about the government getting involved in business. First and foremost, of course, is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Seriously. It was running out at Rolling Stone. First of all, they didn't feel the need for a dissident conservative voice in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Maybe it's understandable what a history of failures America's foreign policy has been. We are, after all, a country full of people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. ... Government contains impure ingredients - as anybody who's looked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In England, all the English car companies were beginning to circle the drain in a series of well-deserved failures and bankruptcies, earned… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'd known the people at Rolling Stone for a while. I'd gone to them with a piece I'd done on Beirut for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government does not cause affluence. Citizens of totalitarian countries have plenty of government and nothing of anything else. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a very good reason that governments aren't supposed to compete with private-enterprise companies. Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The difference between corporations and governments is governments have a monopoly on force. It's a lot easier to vote with your feet… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
