Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 39

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the…

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that no matter how much I care,some people are just assholes.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, is much like a fire -- he goes out if unattended;

— Nikhil Saluja

Snoring is your body's way of telling everyone not to disturb me asshole can't you see we are sleeping.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex with your future wife - Mutual trust

— Nikhil Saluja

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's so fucking sexist to assume that women have vaginas.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, That which makes the world revolve:

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man.

— Nikhil Saluja

I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen…

— Nikhil Saluja

To meet, to know, to love, to share then to part is the sad tale of the human heart.

— Nikhil Saluja

Police arrested 2 youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one & let the other off.

— Nikhil Saluja

Napkin? I have two, They're called sleeves.

— Nikhil Saluja

Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter

— Nikhil Saluja

Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

Smoked a cigarette. Cigarette got cancer.

— Nikhil Saluja

My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times.

— Nikhil Saluja

Urologists don't know shit.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how old you are, no matter how bad ass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing…

— Nikhil Saluja

Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that is where I hang them.

— Nikhil Saluja

The blonde was always careful to remove her watch before putting on bug spray because she didn't want it to kill the…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you can't say goodbye to your past, then you just can't say hello to your future.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I'm what I eat, then why isn't me saying meow?

— Nikhil Saluja