“the Ankh-Morpork Trespassers' Society was originally the Explorers' Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places 'discovered' by the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I thought she thought he was just a big pile of jobbies?” he said. “I seen her oout walkin’, an’ when… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire'… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Here you are. Would you like some pickles?” “Pickles gives me the wind something awful.” “In that case—” “Oh, I wasn’t saying… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“. . . you worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Good so be would you if, duff plum of helping second A," said the Bursar. The table fell silent. "Did anyone understand… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“He looked at her defiantly, and she thought: and so one at a time we all become human—human werewolves, human dwarfs, human… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Thats how we survive infinity - we kill it by breaking it up into small bits. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“On the other hand the Nac Mac Feegle were always looking for a fight, in a cheerful sort of way, and when… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
What do you call those things you find at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful Gangsters? — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past like a stampede. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
But ye gotta know where ye're just gonna rush in. Ye cannae just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Well, child? Aren't you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature? I don't think I shall bother,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The truly smart, having discovered they are cleverer than the people around them, soon learn that the smartest thing of all for… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Not all questions are answered, but fortunately some answers are questioned. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Saw a funny thing this mornin’,” he said. “Saw a monkey in the quad. Bold as brass.” “Oh, yes,” said the Bursar,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It was a fine summer morning, the kind to make a man happy to be alive. And probably the man *would* have… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Cheese runners shouted at it, tried to grab it, and flailed at it with sticks, but the piratical cheese scythed onward, reaching… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
