Funny Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 52

HUSBAND, is much like a fire -- he goes out if unattended;

— Nikhil Saluja

Hope you're not allergic to nuts. Cause I'm gonna kick yours up into your throat.

— Nikhil Saluja

My road to success is blocked by a huge rocks obstacle with a big sign that says 'Twitter.com'

— Nikhil Saluja

Snoring is your body's way of telling everyone not to disturb me asshole can't you see we are sleeping.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex with your future wife - Mutual trust

— Nikhil Saluja

WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode.

— Nikhil Saluja

In my version of volleyball I use my legs and also don't play volleyball.

— Nikhil Saluja

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's so fucking sexist to assume that women have vaginas.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, That which makes the world revolve:

— Nikhil Saluja

VERBAL: Able to whine in words

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man.

— Nikhil Saluja

I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen…

— Nikhil Saluja

To meet, to know, to love, to share then to part is the sad tale of the human heart.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to…

— Nikhil Saluja

Police arrested 2 youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one & let the other off.

— Nikhil Saluja

Napkin? I have two, They're called sleeves.

— Nikhil Saluja

Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter

— Nikhil Saluja

Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

Smoked a cigarette. Cigarette got cancer.

— Nikhil Saluja

My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's a guy thing really means There's no rational thought pattern connected with it and you can't make it logical.

— Nikhil Saluja

Urologists don't know shit.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how old you are, no matter how bad ass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing…

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.

— Nikhil Saluja