As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
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