Eye Quotes by Karl Pilkington

Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames…

— Karl Pilkington

Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be…

— Karl Pilkington

Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.

— Karl Pilkington

What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?

— Karl Pilkington

We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever…

— Karl Pilkington

The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.

— Karl Pilkington

People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!

— Karl Pilkington

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be…

— Karl Pilkington

I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.

— Karl Pilkington

They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and…

— Karl Pilkington

People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs…

— Karl Pilkington

Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do.

— Karl Pilkington

To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.

— Karl Pilkington

Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot...

— Karl Pilkington

Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe.

— Karl Pilkington