Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If Dracula can’t see his reflection, how come his parting’s always neat? — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you’re not happy looking a knob in the face, there’s something wrong. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, "I wasn't as… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake? — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
