Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 98

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

— Anonymous

Roses are red,Violets are blue,I'm breaking up wit you ,Watcha gonna do?

— Anonymous

You said that?! No, but I was thinking it.

— Anonymous

Being divorced is an extremely useful way to fool women into believing you're capable of commitment.

— Anonymous

Thanks for trying to explain why iced coffee is more expensive.

— Anonymous

Women drivers are like stars in the sky. You can see them, but they can't see you.

— Anonymous

I'm not saying she's a slut, I'm just saying she should sleep in her own bed often

— Anonymous

I just want someone to love me as much as I love my cat.

— Anonymous

Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

— Anonymous

Some people need to have eggs thrown at them.Brick shaped eggs..made of brick.

— Anonymous

I hate when an obese girl asks who I looks like. Her weight was 120 Kg, she looks like an elephant.

— Anonymous

The Labor Day holiday means I get my unemployment check a day late.

— Anonymous

You're so lazy. No, I'm not. I've been converting oxygen intocarbon dioxide all day.

— Anonymous

Survival isn't fun. If it is - you camping.

— Anonymous

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil :)

— Anonymous

I miss you like a beef misses his bread.

— Anonymous

Turning 32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail

— Anonymous

Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect girls to look like Victoria's Secret angels.

— Anonymous

Advice of the day: If you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, always go with what…

— Anonymous

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm…

— Anonymous

May your life be like toilet paper... Long and useful

— Anonymous

He who laughs.....lasts.

— Anonymous

Tell Me Why We've Got More Pictures Of T.K. On Here Then Most Other Things. -

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when your sarcasm isn't understood in a text.

— Anonymous

I Love You is an 8 letter phrase but then again so is Bull Shit.

— Anonymous

I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'

— Anonymous

Home isn't where the heart is, home is a place you go where they are obligated to let you in.

— Anonymous

I am locking myself in my room, really it is for your own safety...

— Anonymous

When you see a movie you haven't seen in years, and suddenly it all makes sense, because you were originally too young…

— Anonymous

Never ever apologize for saying what you feel. That's like saying sorry for being real.

— Anonymous

Its funny how when I'm loud, people tell me to be quiet, but when I'm quiet, people ask me whats wrong with…

— Anonymous

Do British People Make Fun Of American Accents?

— Anonymous

Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will…

— Anonymous

Good morning guys haha I just got up lol what time is it were you guys live? Here it's 10:30 lol

— Anonymous

Sarcasm is my natural defense to fucking retards.

— Anonymous

If it doesn't make the world better - don't do it.

— Anonymous

Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college.

— Anonymous

Here's to screwing up America so badly that the Native Americans wouldn't even want it back.

— Anonymous

Isn't it funny how people find it hilarious when they treat peoplelike crap, but gets so offended when someone does it back…

— Anonymous

I'm still waiting for the, 'Once you go black, you never go back.' episode on Mythbusters.

— Anonymous